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More Chickens!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own two eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

OLIVER STONE: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but rather "Who was crossing at the same time that we over looked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain.

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispostioned to cross roads.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why?  The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road--it transcended it.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.

THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,  "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was  much rejoicing.

DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

NEW YORKER: Get that freakin' chicken off the freakin' road or I'll break it's freakin' neck!

NEW YORK CHICKEN: Hey, I'm walkin' here!

BILL CLINTON: This administration will do anything within its power to provide free access to all chickens on all our nation's roads at any cost.

CLINTON REVISED: I did not have improper sexual relations with the chicken.

DAN QUAYLE: Chikken. did sumone say chikken?

JACK NICHOLSON: You want that chicken on the road. You need that chicken on the road. You're just too much of a chicken to be on that road yourself!

JEWISH CHICKEN: Vaat? The pig crosses the road and no one notices. But I cross the road and it's a federal case already.

 

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1995-2002 William Geoffrey Shotts. Last update: Tuesday, March 09, 2004