| ACTION |
MEANING |
| Woman won't unlock car door for man |
Doesn't engage in oral sex |
| Man gets in car withour opening door for woman |
No foreplay |
| Insists on going to a brand new restaurant |
Prefers virgins |
| Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way |
Is a virgin |
| Can't hail a cab |
Impotent |
| Insists on going to a romantic candle-lit restaurant |
Compulsive Don Juan |
| Insists on going to a homely little cafe with windmill motif |
Compulsive Don Quixote |
| Insist on going to a Polynesian bar |
Compulsive Don Ho |
| Wants to go to a French restaurant |
Will swallow |
| Wants to go to a deli |
Won't swallow |
| Takes too long deciding what to order |
Has trouble reaching orgasm |
| Orders salad dressing on the side |
Will give you a hand job, but will not go "all the way" |
| Gives explicit orders to waiter |
Will expect incredibly skillful gymnastics in bed |
| Asks for extra rolls |
Will say she is using birth control when she's not, will get pregnant
and sue |
| Insists on ordering for you, referring to you as "The lady will
have..." |
Thinks you had an orgasm when you didn't |
| Asks for "The Usual" |
Insists on missionary position only |
| Asks what the specials are |
Will want you to use handcuffs |
| Fills up on bread and crackers |
Premature ejaculation |
| Doesn't finish everything on plate |
Has already come |
| Insists on having some of whatever you orderded |
Will make you sleep on the wet spot |
| Changes mind after ordering |
Will never call you |
| Changes tables |
Nyphomaniac |
| Drinks Decaf. |
Fakes Orgasm (Female) |
| Orders in French |
Fakes Orgasm (Male) |
| Sends food back |
Will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, then try to borrow money |
| Asks for detailed descriptions of desserts |
Needs you to talk dirty during sex |
| Orders a dessert involving ladyfingers |
Wants a handjob |
| Orders a dessert involving nuts |
Castrating Bitch |
| Wants to split dessert |
Is dying to get rid of her apartment, move in with you, rearrange all
your closets, and take down all your baseball posters |
| Credit card is refused |
Low sperm count |
| Undertips waiter |
Small penis |
| Under tips parking valet |
Small penis |
| Undertips cabbie |
Small penis |
| Uses toothpick |
Is trying to tell you size isn't everything |
| Removable cassette player in car |
Pulls out repeatedly during sex |
| Cellular phone in car |
Penile inplant |
