The Sex Tax
BY way of explanation... in Canada we recently began to pay a new tax called the Goods and Services Tax... GST for short. It's a sales tax that also applies to services like haircuts, TV repair, you name it. In fact, you name it, they tax it.
It's very unpopular... and has come to be known by such alternative names as the Gouge & Screw Tax.
To try and sell it, the feds put out a pamphlet and mailed it to everyone in sight: "Some Questions and Answers about the GST"
This pamphlet has inspired the following. (I don't know whose work it is. It seems to have originated in/near Vancouver, B-C)
The Human Sexuality Tax Some Questions and Answers about the HST WHAT IS THE HST? ================ The Human Sexuality Tax is a $1.25 surcharge levied on sexual relations between consenting adults. WHAT IF I LIKE LITTLE BOYS? =========================== The HST only applies to consenting adults. Pedophiles and necrophiliacs are not required to pay the tax. Zoopheliacs and gerbil enthusiasts are also exempt. WHY A TAX ON SEX? ================= Because cigarettes and alcohol are already taxed to the hilt. Sex is the only central pleasure we haven't touched yet. WHAT ABOUT SAFE SEX? ==================== Health and Welfare Canada advises the use of condoms to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. If you use a condom, you are elegible for an rebate equal to 40% of its cost. Retain the receipt and the used condom and enclose both with your federal income tax to receive the full rebate. HOW DO I PAY THE HST? ===================== After sexual relations, you and your partner are each required to fill out a separate T69 Form and return it with a cheque or money order for $1.25 to Revenue and Taxation Canada. The forms are available at Post Offices, drug stores and the washrooms of most bars and dance clubs. I'M FROM WHITE ROCK. DO I PAY MORE? =================================== No. In fact you pay less. The HST is regionally adjusted to accountfor socio-cultural variation in the frequency of sexual relations. Persons from West Vancouver, for example, are required to pay an additional $0.70 per encounter to make up for their lack of activity. Similarly, residents of Surrey may deduct $0.75 from their payment. WHAT IT I DON'T..UH..GET THERE? ================================ The tax applies only if you achieve climax. So relax. Go to it when you want to do it. Relax and come when you want to come. Canada's HST. Let's Come Together.
© 1995, 1996 William Geoffrey Shotts. Last update: Sunday, June 16, 1996