A Fish Story

A guy walks into a bar (ouch!), sits down, and orders a drink. While waiting for the drink to arrive, he notices a sailor sitting by himself at the end of the bar. There was something peculiar about this sailor -- he was physically normal in everyway except that his head was the size of a tangerine. Well, the guy was curious, and after a few more drinks, he orders a drink and has the bartender take it to the sailor.

When the sailor received the drink, he looked over at the guy and thanked him. The man sidled up to the sailor and said "Excuse me, I hope that i am not being personal, but i can't help but notice, that you are physically normal in everyway except that your head is the size of a tangerine. If you don't mind me asking, were you born that way or did something happen to you?"

The sailor replied:

"Well, it was like this. We were out in the Pacific on maneuvers when the ship sank. I was washed ashore on a desert island. For three months, I lived off of cocanuts and raw fish without any contact with other living beings. One morning, I awoke to hear the plaintive cries of a woman in distress. I looked around the island and found a mermaid who was caught on the rocks on the shoreline."

The sailor who was physically normal in everyway except that his head was the size of a tangerine, paused for a drink. Then he continued.

"I rescued her and she was so grateful, that she offered me three wishes. Having eaten nothing but coconuts and raw fish for threee months, I first asked for a steak dinner complete with baked potato and Texas toast. It was great. The mermaid then asked, 'And what is your second wish?' I replied, rather illogically, I must admit, 'Well, for my third wish, I'd like to go home. But before that, my second wish....well, you see, i 've been on this island for three months. It's been over three months since I had sex with a woman."

The sailor who was physically normal in everyway except that his head was the size of a tangerine paused.

"'What I would really like' I said to the mermaid, 'is to have sex with you.' The mermaid looked at me sadly. 'I would love to accomodate you but as you can see, from the waist down, I am a fish!' I thought for a moment, looked her in the eye, and said 'Well then, how about a little head?'

POOF!

the bitter end.

1995-2002 William Geoffrey Shotts. Last update: Tuesday, March 09, 2004