Final Exam

INSTRUCTIONS: Read all instructions before answering questions. Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit 4 hours. You may begin immediately.



1) Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. verify this estimation.



2) Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, and the wave theory of light. Outline a method from all points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view , as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.



3) The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to your room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.



4) Write, from memory, in perfect english, the Webster's New Collegate Dictionary. You will find 1500 sheets of paper under your chair.

5) Compose an epic poem based on the events of you own life in which you see and footnote allusions from T.S. Eliot, Keats, Chauler, Dante, Norse Mythology, and the Marx Brothers. Critique your poem with a full discussion of its merits. What could have been added/changed to make it perfect?


General Knowledge

6) Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.



7) Draw a detailed map of the world showing all streets and traffic light locations. At 4:00pm GMT, what are the colors of the traffic lights?



8) Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day; concentrate especially but not exclusively on the social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

9) a) Compare and contrast the religions of ancient Egypt, Palestine, and Mesopotamia.
b) Trace the growth and development of Greek Philosophy.
c) Describe the growth, development, decline and fall of the Roman Empire.
d) Discuss, in detail, any differences or similiarities between the events in the previous three parts and their causes/effects. Provide concrete evidence.

10) Describe the history of all religions from their earliest origins to the present day. Prove which is best in a manner that will convince all other religions.



11) Using accepted methodology, prove all four of the following: That the universe is infinite; that truth is beauty; that there is no little person who turns off the light in the refrigerator when you close the door, and that you are the person taking this exam. Now disprove all of the above. Be specific. Show all work.


Management Science

12) Define Management. Define Science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Implement your algorithm on either a GE 645, CDC 7600, IBM 360/195, or PDP-8. Your program should include all software necessary to support 100 interactive consoles.



13) Define division by zero, and its effects upon all areas of mathematics. The less effects produced by your definition, the better your grade.

14) Calculate PI to two million decimal places and, by using this result, calculate the volume of the galaxy to 1,999,999 decimal places.



15) Behind your desk you will find a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work is inspected.



16) Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.



17) Why?
18) If this is the question, what is the answer?
19) What is the question given that the answer is 42?
20) Take a position for or against truth. Argue your position making sure to justify your decisions.
21) Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.



22) Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science, plus the possible effect of electromagnetic radiations on global pollution and on the love life of radar operators who spend long periods in that environment.
23) Define the universe in detail. List three examples.


Political Science

24) On the desk behind you is a red phone. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.



25) Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, and Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.
26) Employing principles from the major schools of psychoanalytic thought, successfully subject yourself to analysis. Make appropriate personality evaluations and changes, bill yourself, and fill out all appropriate medical insurance forms. Now do the same to the person on your immediate left.


Public Speaking

27) Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.



28) Prove the existance and explain the development of the "Boy meets Girl" theory. Estimate the sociological problems that might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Extra Credit

bulletGive today's date....IN METRIC.
bulletGive three good reasons why Bruce Springsteen or the New Kids On The Block deserve success.
bulletIf you have followed instructions you will read this instruction before attempting any answers. You are instructed to ignore everything on this test except for the first and last (this one) instructions. Write your name in pig latin under the term "Extra Credit" and turn in your paper. This will result in a perfect score for you. Any other marks on this paper will negate this instruction and you will be graded according to your answers to the previous twenty-eight questions. All contents of this paragraph become null and void 120 seconds after recieving this exam.

Good Luck.

1995, 1996 William Geoffrey Shotts. Last update: Tuesday, April 16, 1996