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How Does a (BLANK) Chicken Cross the Road?

NT Chicken:

Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

OS/2 Chicken:

It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

Win 95 Chicken:

You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.

Microsoft Chicken (TM):

It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

OOP Chicken:

It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Assembler Chicken:

First it builds the road ...

C Chicken:

It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken:

The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

VB Chicken:

USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

Delphi Chicken:

The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Java Chicken:

If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)

Web Chicken:

Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Gopher Chicken:

Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Newton Chicken:

Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket !

Cray Chicken:

Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Quantum Logic Chicken:

The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your course.

Lotus Chicken:

Don't you dare try to cross the road the same way we do !

Mac Chicken:

No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

Al Gore Chicken:

Waiting for completion of NCI (National Chicken-crossing Infrastructure) and will cross as soon as it's finished, assuming he's re-elected and the Republicans don't gut the program.

COBOL Chicken:

0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

 

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1995-2002 William Geoffrey Shotts. Last update: Tuesday, March 09, 2004